Boobeedoobeedoo

Wala lang. Reseach is killing me. I'm multi-tasking right now. Just to keep my brains working! I wish somebody from my YM list of friends pops up a message. Argh!! Boink, boink, boink. Wow, LSS!! I hope I don't sleep through tomorrow's sermon...

Coffee Moments

I'm back to my old habit. I'm drinking a cup of coffee right at the moment. Pagbigyan na...besides, I need to finish a research tonight. I'm tired but I'm trying to do it anyway. This has been a long day in Children's Church. We've so far finished most of the parts in the production. But the details are yet to be completed. And it was double time out today. I was almost running out of lesson material for my kids. I made use of anything--tallest, longest, whatever!--to illustrate "God Most High". *sigh* To make things worse, half the kids were extra hyperactive tonight. And I could hardly conduct a decent game with half of the class running around. Jam-jam gave me a peso coin tonight. I asked her what was it for. For remembrance, she said. I love my kids just as much as they love me. I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world...except for coffee. =)

Ain't it Ridiculous?

...to think your ex's present is trying to imitate you?
...to walk away from your ex's direction and then look back the moment he turns his back?
...to crush on your friend's love interest? (haha, this is wicked!!)

James, Enrolment and Good Old Friends

Yey. Finally got to watch "White Chicks" today with my (official) gimik barkada--Hannah, Erin, Abi and Chris! Twas whole lot'a fun! We enjoyed the good laugh although at first, we were freezing to death inside the theater!! It's a good movie to watch. Especially with people whom you could laugh loud with. ;p~ My Ka-Bios (kabayos) are actually good friends since college days. And we're making a deal to go out at least once a week even during school days. I hope the plan pushes through! Haha. I mean, c'mon, we're "hard-working" medical students...we deserve a break too.

The enrolment was kinda boring. It lasted for only about 10 minutes. I'm excited to come back to school! I'm almost squeezing in my remaining activities for the sembreak though...

Yay! Saw JaMeS today!! Haha. What a delight! After ages, finally! Whew, almost forgot how he actually looked like. Hehe.

Lucky

I was watching Animal Planet this afternoon and they featured this cat with one blind eye and cleft palate (kinda like hare lip cases in humans). It was a poor sight to look at. The cat's owner is a SpEd teacher for kids and she uses the cat to boost the kids' self-esteem and impart self acceptance. She does it effectively.

It gave me a lot of realizations. That it's okay to be different. That being different/unordinary doesn't mean you're not special...or that you're less of a person. That one can be happy even if he doesn't have everything that others have. Not that I badly needed these realizations in life. It just made me ponder the thought: If a disabled cat or child can find happiness in their lives, why can't a normal person ever be contented with his/hers?

Weekend Extravanganza

This post officially dumps my old xanga site. Anyway, just updates...

Last Friday, I am finally done doing "the works" in the dining area. This coming week, I will be working on the sala and I'm hoping to finish the whole first floor for Christmas so Mom and I could take good pictures around the house.

All day (and night) of Saturday I was in church. Puppet production has been moved since most people will be going to their provinces during the holidays. We have more time to prepare and think about all the details. It kinda frustrates me. I dunno if I'd be able to make big contributions for it. I haven't done productions in a while. What can I say, med school totally changed my life! However, I was very happy I got an invite from Kurt to watch a "broadway play". It was from their school teatro. Wasn't very good though. I was thinking: they're actors; they musn't push themselves to sing or dance. Well, okay...it's part of the performing arts. But they didn't deliver very well. I am such a critic... I'm glad though coz I haven't been to any theater plays in a while. It's one of my passions.

I went to Youth Worship Explosion last Sunday, the last for this year. It wasn't really a blast and I must say I expected so much more than what I got. But, so-so, some of my favorites were played and my good friends were there as well.

So there goes, perhaps, my last "happy" weekend for this week is going to be my last sembreak week. *sigh* And I'm enrolling for another sem tomorrow. I so thank God I got through the last sem without failure (though with a lot of disappointments).

Lyrics

Okay...Now I have a problem with it. (You know how oc-oc I could get when it comes to words) All the while, I thought he was better but heck no! This is blasphemy!! I can't believe what the lyrics are trying to convey. It is so uncalled for...and unfair. How can you blame God for all the negative things in this world? I don't understand why people even have to entertain the idea of God not caring at all about us humans. Seriously, how can you say that?! And I hate it when they say "That's your belief". I wish they would have listened even for a while, think about it and probably in the end, they wouldn't regret. *sigh* I'm really in disbelief. I know, God is superior over all things and He can do anything and everything He wishes. But as the Bible says, not everything is beneficial. Fine, most of the time, we find ourselves clueless of His will. But isn't that why He is God after all? How can one be superior if everybody just had the same idea as he is? And isn't that the essence of faith after all? Evidence of things unseen and things hoped for? What is your problem?! Isn't the creations around you enough proof that God has set everything for our benefit? And aren't you thankful He placed your nose right where it is in your face now? How can you ever think that God never cared? He so perfected the details in our lives. He can never go wrong. He's God, remember? What am I talking about? I don't have to tell you where this thought came up. But again, this is my 2 cents worth...keep it or trash it.

One of the worst days of my life!

Did you ever have a "shoulda, woulda, coulda" feeling?? I did have it just today and it's awful, it's killing me!!! Argh!! I feel sooo dumb...I'm forcing myself to cry but still couldn't get over it! For real. We went to like the best zoo in the 'pines...I took pics with my phonecam and on our way home, I accidentally deleted ALL of them!!! ARGH!!! It really feels sooo bad. Boohoohoo!!! I did took pictures with the regular cam but the best ones were stored on my phonecam. I hate feelings like this. I don't like disappointments. Especially when other people are involved. I really hate myself today. I'm looking back to how excited I was to get up early this morning...everything seemed to be really perfect as the day went by...and then everything fades away in the end. What a mess. In times like this, I'd seek comfort from people...to tell me it's alright and I can redeem myself next time. But sometimes, I get so makulit. It takes me some time to finally get over the feeling (I get this kind of feeling too when I don't make good grades in school...). I tend to long for "convincing" encouragements...I mean, sincere encouragements. Somehow, my Dad just did it. I held on to my Mom's hips but she just pat me on my shoulders but my Dad said something that helped me get over such traumatic feeling. He said it was okay to lose pictures from a field trip than to lose pictures from your wedding day. Hahahaha! Now I'm starting to smile again...

For Players/Junkies

I just read an article from the May ish of Chalk magazine and it’s entitled “My Boyfriend Used Me”. I really like what the author (Marj Akil) wrote and so here goes…

It takes a wise heart to spot the wrong guy. Men on the rebound will often hit at a girl’s vulnerability, then go off with an unfair score.

Every girl, at some point, learns a thing or two on how to lose and why they lost a guy. Above those, every girl must know that you don’t really lose someone you never really had.

When such “injustices” happen to women, sometimes I can’t help but think how jerk of a guy could get. I have this feministic side of me that just burst out when the thought comes into mind. I wish women were a lot wiser when it comes to emotions. Good term, “wise heart”. As they say, brain on top of the heart. But y’know, really, as in real life, when we apply this kind of philosophy, all the romantic jitters and tingles slowly fade away into the scene. Is there really a perfect formula on how to deal with all the BS like these? (Ooopps, sorry for the term!) The article also includes “Blocking a Rebound” and I found it funny that I could relate to most of the situations cited. =) These are possible symptoms on how to tell if a guy is for real or for reel.

He almost always brings up topics about his ex. Obviously, he’s reminiscing, and he has picked you as the perfect listener.

(Isn’t this totally mean?! After all the looong hours over the phone, it turns out that he doesn’t really care about your issues and he’s just after getting over his whole drama!)

If he’s passionately mad AT her, then he’s most likely still mad ABOUT her. As they say, the more you hate, the more you love.(Very true. Maybe the guy is sourgraping over some apples he failed to keep--?!?)

He still has a framed photo of them together, in his room, or he still keeps one in his wallet.(If the guy asks for your picture, don’t believe he really wants your picture unless he persists on asking you!! If he asks for it once, then he just probably blurted it and never really meant it.)

He addresses you the way he used to address his beloved ex.

He doesn’t introduce you to his crowd, because as far as they’re concerned, your boy is still into the last girl he introduced to them.(This was actually one of my greatest wonders. I remember Nena’s line in the one-act play “New Yorker in Tondo”. “What fun is it being engaged if you can’t tell everybody?!” True. How come you have to meet in secret? How come he only talks to you over the phone? How come he cares so much about what OTHER people might say about your relationship?)

He avoids serious talks about the “future” of your relationship. He says the two of you will get to that. Maybe yes—based on his time frame—if he has one.(I’ve actually heard this statement before…and that the guy needs to be in control of the relationship.)

He’s in a hurry to have a relationship with you. This may be misinterpreted as liking you too much, that he’ll jump in with no if’s and but’s. Yes, it’s quite unromantic and mechanical to bombard him with questions about his true intentions, but please do.(Translation—for me: The guy works over time to woo you and win you over. He texts you every hour, calls you every night and acts as if he really mattered to you and as if you really cared! Hahaha!!)

Here’s a quick tip: ask him why he wants to be with you. Someone who’s really into you would want to get to know you better, so he can proceed with the level of commitment. If his reply is vague (meaning, you’re not satisfied—and don’t be, easily), dig into it some more. It’s your right.(Yeah!! Who wants a dumb guy for a boyfriend anyway?! Let him talk and impress you with what he’s got up his sleeves!)

Check his relationship background. It’s scary if he jumps from one to another in less than a month, or even lesser. Chances are, a great relationship is not what he’s really after—just someone to hang around with when he’s feeling empty.(But it’s also unfair if you base your “research” only on the time frames of his relationship. Dig in deeper. Know the real scores and reasons. You’ll never really know when a guy is already ripe for commitment, eh?)

What's in your senti box?

I was fixing all my bulks last night and I kinda went through old letters. It's funny how all the memories come up into your mind just so instantly. I remember how my bestfriend hated somebody from class so much that she wrote me a letter bcoz that person was absent (haha, wicked!), how an old friend felt bad about me having new friends, about my dad's expectations of me, etc., etc.Anyways, I grouped all the letters according to the degree of friendship I had with the person who wrote it. So are you wondering which group you belong to? Haha. It's no big deal, really. As long as you're in my senti box, your memory is worth keeping. =)

Jars of Clay: Furthermore

*SCREAM* Ah, I am sooo happy! I already have Jars of Clay's collector CD!! It comes in 2 discs and it's totally awesome!! If you're a big fan of Jars, you must find a way to have it! Hehe. I've been looking for it through all music stores in town but never found it. Salamat na lang sa kapatid kong maangas sa Bayside! Haha. It's one of the best grad gifts I ever got. Verdad. I specifically like the live acoustic version of "Worlds Apart". Actually, it's one of my favorites from their first album. But this version was made to sound more like a worship song. He added "Hallelujah" to the end of the song which lasted more than 10 minutes! (And I enjoyed listening to it the whoooole time!) And what's so amazing about the guy is that even if he's only singing "yeahhh....", he makes it sound so cool! Kinda like draws emotions to and from the listener. Man, Dan Haseltine gots some serious annointing in songwriting! Haha. (Did that sound ghetto? It rhymes too!) He's the best!! =D I'd like to meet this great, great man someday...

Yadah!

One Sunday afternoon in Children’s Church, I taught “worship” to my kids. (Hey, the lesson tells of “halal”, “yadah” and “shachan”…mind u!! This is GOOD STUFF being learned by 3 yr.-old kids eh?) Watching them respond to “yadah” with arms stretched out was my biggest accomplishment that day. Honestly, it kinda gets hard to draw 3 yr.-old kids to worship. Although they do not have full understanding of what they are actually doing (well, actually they do…but they know it from a simple perspective: they are raising their hands to show their love for Jesus), the Bible says that worship in an inherent desire of our spirit—even of 3 yr.-old kids’ spirit! =) So forget about how the kids do it anyway…just watch them close their eyes and try to murmur the worship song. =) This is a sight to see, believe me. God is no respecter of people of any age, race, sex, whatever. When it is written that “every knee shall fall and bow down to Him”, that means EVERYBODY! Woship! Worship! Worship! =)

“Praise the Lord, O my soul! I will praise the Lord all my life; I’ll sing praise to my God as long as I live.” –Psalms 143:1-2

Recycled Thoughts-Part 4

FAVORITE WORD
Have you ever had one favorite word? Mine's REDEMPTION. Pastora Me-An defined the term in our Youth Short Term Bible College. Redemption is releasing or liberation from captivity, slavery or death by payment of a price called ransom. I so like the word. The whole idea is overwhelming to me. Maybe the word is just too pretty that Jars of Clay had to write a song about it.

REDEMPTION (Jars of Clay)

We made it to a strange town going down the wrong road

Like any story retold, couldn’t find a common ending

We’re way gone, be gone, looking for our own way

We needed a distraction

You said you were redemption

We knew it as a wrong turn

We couldn’t know the things we’d gain

When we reach the other border

We look out way down past the road we come from

We’re looking at redemption

It was hidden in the landscape

Of loss and love and fire and rain

Never would have come this way

Looking for redemption

We were looking out past the road we come from

Looking at redemption hidden in the landscape

Of loss and love and fire and rain

Never would have come this way

Looking for redemption in the eyes of sorrow, eyes of rage

What a sordid histories they played

The drama of redemption…redemption

Recycled Thoughts-Part 3

INTELLECTUAL SNOBS
Doctors are ALWAYS late. This is based on my regular observations. They always keep their patients waiting for at least 30 minutes. What's with that?! And what's with the "we're-not-on-the-same-level" front?? They always have this air of arrogance with them. I know, not all doctors are like this and that it's not fair to generalize. But I've probably met the rotten tomatoes in the basket. I also understand that at least 10 years of studies is no joke and their knowledge is something that needs to be taken seriously...but, really? (I'm saying it the way Lucy Whitemore said it on "50 First Dates"...haha!) Is this the kind of person the doctors become after 10 years?? That sucks. ;p~ I promise myself never to be someone close to that someday...

GLAZED DONUTS & MEDICAL MALPRACTICE
What can I say? I guess I've been watching too much TV these days. I'm presently craving for glazed donuts which I see very often on TV. I think it's the on in LA...krispy kreme? Ugh, que mal, we don't have Krispy Kreme here in the 'pines. =(
Last night, they featured medical malpractices in Oprah. Geez, I really felt bad!! One case was the lady who had her breasts removed bcoz the doctor diagnosed she had breast cancer. But then when they have the sample biopsyed, she was negative of breast cancer. Another case was the penis amputation of one old man. Same diagnosis, same mistake. *sigh* You guys, second opinion or even third, fourth, so on and forth is VERY IMPORTANT. You don't want the rest of your life ruined just bcoz of a few minutes of irresponsibility of doctors who fail to double check.

Recycled Thoughts-Part 2

OPRAH WINFREY SHOW

I'm an Oprah addict. She has featured a lot of really good episodes that will forever be in my memory...ah, she just has the best talk show ever! Haha. =) I like the episode where they featured a family from New Jersey who flew all the way to Kenya, Africa to live and learn the manyatta's (village) lifestyle. It was sort of a challenge from the National Geographic Channel. I really loooove that episode!! It made me cry. ;p~ The episode also showed Angelina Jolie as UN's goodwill ambassador to Tanzania. Africa is really my dream destination. I feel like, as a person, God can equip me "maximally" there! Heehee. I'd like to be a goodwill ambassador too someday. I'm going to be a doctor. No, I'm going to be a good doctor. No, I'm going to be a good missionary doctor. No, I'm going to be a good missionary doctor and a goodwill ambassador to Africa!!! Haha. I hope some UN agents could read this post and hire me ASAP. *lol* But really, I'm dead serious about this...

DILEMMA
Have you ever had a dilemma wherein you don't feel like doing something but you're obliged to do it anyway and even if you had a choice, you just find it hard to say "no" because you know in your heart that is something for good cause?? Well, that's where I'm in right now. And heck, I'm feeling how hard it is to be human. I wish I were a fish....or something. ;p~ So then I won't have to talk, cry or even fall in love. ;p~
I'm finding it really hard to say "no" especially if my "no" means "I'm only thinking of myself and what's comfortable for me". Of course, you have a hint of what I mean right?! Well anyway...

Recycled Thoughts-Part 1

...from my old xanga site.

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
Who would wanna miss a controversial flick eh? And whoever said Jesus Christ wasn’t famous?! At first, scenes were most of the time in slow mo’ and dim lights were used. And how come they never told us the whole movie was in jew/greek/whatever?! Of course, some of it was in italian (parts of the romans). Anyhow, I still say the movie ROCKED!! =)

No matter what criticism/fault-finding people do, the message that Mel Gibson tried to convey is undeniably THE DEAL man! ;p Honestly, I never pictured Jesus’ “stripes” looked as terrible as it was visualized in the movie. It was gory horrible!! I was “squinching” (?) in most of the beating parts. I was like, “oh how he loves u and me…he gave his life, what more could he give?” (Actually, I think the lyrics should go…”he gave his life, what more COULDN’T he give??”) The director did a pretty good job in emphasizing that “by His stripes, we have been healed”! Haha. Now I could probably tell that to a sick or hurting person with so much conviction.

Was Jesus thinking of me when he was being beaten by the Roman soldiers? I think so. =)

ABOVE ALL (Lenny LeBlanc)
Above all powers, above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of men
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms, above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There’s no way to measure what you’re worth

Crucified and laid behind the stone
You lived to die, rejected and alone
Like a rose trampled on the ground
You took the fault and thought of me, above all

Coffeenatic No More?

NO WAY!
Two weeks without caffeine...still surviving (but almost dying!). This is killing me!! Detox!! Withdrawal stage's giving me headache for the past few days. I can't wait to come back to med school...and come back to my coffee habit. ;p~