Top 25 Reasons to Thank God for the Year 2004

1. For an ultimately angas prof in college--whom I had a crush on!
2. For a devastating trekking experience in Mt. Makiling
3. For overcoming my fear of heights (I still get scared though--a few more exposures and I'll probably get through it)
4. For a long walk in the rain--which was fun, actually!
5. For an exciting boat ride in Batangas
6. For a good view of what's under the sea (I never imagined it was THAT bee-yoo-tee-fool!)
7. For a scar on my right knee (courtesy of a hard red coral) which will a;ways remind me of my very first snorkeling experience
8. For my first batis and tent experiences I shared with my college friends during our Ecology Exposure Trip
9. For graduating from BS Biology with utmost fulfillment
10. For Keng, Hannah, Tinz, Ajeng and Cares--my good college friends
11. For Youth Short Term Bible College during my summer break
12. For my E-girlfriends (Vick-E, Lor-E and Kat-E) in church
13. For my challenging Puppet Ministry
14. For my adorable kids in Children's Church
15. For learning to say "no" when my mind is in doubt and I am half-hearted about doing something
16. For the grace that helps me know and prioritize my priorities
17. For making it to University of Santo Tomas Faculty of Medicine and Surgery (boon or bane?)
18. For all the good people I've met, and still will be meeting, who'd help me cope up with the stress and struggles in med
19. For my new gimik buddies (formerly Ka-Bios)--Hannah, Er, Abi, Chris, Gina and Sixto (sama na si Chicco)
20. For my 10-hour Anatomy Class every week--cadaver dissection, Dra. Apepe, drawing and shading...I always have a blast! (rrright...)
21. For a totally cool subsec--and all the birthday eating sessions we've had!
22. For a well-mixed Cafe au Lait at the corridor vendo in school and all the priceless coffee moments I've had
23. For bringing my Bamboo back into the local music industry
24. For my Jars of Clay: Furthermore double-CD album (thanks to Jerb!)--a certified collector's item!
25. For James, whose zygomatic bones enchant me day by day...*sigh*

...and the list goes on forever! Thank you Lord for the mercy that sustains me each day, for the grace that makes me whole, for the provision that completes me, for the goodness that always bring me to my knees, for redemption & salvation (my greatest possessions), for the many people who loves me and I love, for the love that makes me a more beautiful person day after day and for the glory that is set before me! Props to You! I will forever be Your doulos...

TATA, my Lolo

I’m not sure of how old my grandfather is but I know that he is over 70 years already. He is of the dark chocolate species (layo ng kulay namin) and a bald headed guy who frequents the barbershop at least twice (or maybe thrice) a week to have his beard trimmed and have his back massaged. He loves McDonald’s (he should’ve been in Morgan Spurlock’s “Super Size Me” documentary) and would eat Burger McDo for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He used to buy a lot of bread and sometimes I’d think that he fancies going to bakeshops because he used to work in one when he was a young man wooing my chinita, tisay grandmother in the province of Ilocos Norte. (They actually have a very interesting love story, if you would ask me.) Everytime my lola goes to the grocery, she always buys lolo a bag of chocolates or a gallon of ice cream. When I was young, I used to sleep over their house and I’ve learned that you can eat ripe mangoes with rice from him. I hated every time he would call me to scratch his back and prick his bungang araw. It always left my nails soiled.

He’s a pretty diligent man who worked his way so hard to get out of poverty. Since we were young, we were convinced that we had a rich lolo. I would readily believe so because he’s the one who gives me my allowance from elementary until now (post-grad). Most of the time, when my Mom (or even my titas) runs out of cash, she still comes to her father for financial help. But being the Ilocano that he is, there are no traces of luxury in my lolo. His only extravagance would be going to the States to buy his shoes, chocolates (you will ALWAYS find Baby Ruth, Twix and Butter Finger in his fridge), coffee and creamer, and of course, going to McDonald’s and to the barber shop everyday.

Anyone would probably hate my lolo for being the ultimate killjoy. He is the strictest, sternest and toughest disciplinarian I know. I am scared to come home late because he will surely reprimand my mom for allowing me to do so. And of course, he won’t stop interrogating you about where you were, who were you with, what were you doing and all the other details he could possibly pinpoint to conclude that you were in bad company. I remember we had a plan just to lie about my brother going to the prom…all because my lolo never understood what a prom is and what in the world it is for. All he knows is that anytime beyond 6pm, bad people might mess with you or you are probably messing around yourself.

You may love him or hate him for being sooo kulit. I swear, matutuyuan ka! My lola gets irritated everytime she stops lolo from teasing strangers who just pass by our street. He calls everyone bakla or tomboy. Everytime he gets stuck in an argument, he simply finds his way out by saying “…kanya nga (kaya nga)”. The very last ridiculous thing he has done was to lock our gate while he was inside and then used a chair to get out of our house! Every night, he calls on the phone with his usual lines, “Asan Mommy mo? Asan si KL? Asan ka? Asan yung katulong? Mag-trangka kayo mabuti dyan…Wag kayong magbubukas kung may mag-kakatok”. Saying “andito lang” and “oo” everytime he pauses is already in my system.

Just recently, he was confined for almost a week due to hematuria. He has been operated twice because of abdominal hernia already. On his supposedly last day in the hospital, I was left alone to watch over him. He was very excited to get out of the hospital. He stood by the window and looked outside…probably planning his next visit to McDonald’s or to his barbero. I watched as he lavishly feasted on all the food we brought for him (he even asked for my leftover!) since he was on dextrose for five straight days. A few hours after eating, he was chilling. I immediately asked for the nurses’ assistance. They brought 2 blankets and a bulb light to warm him. I took off my jacket and wrapped it around him. I hugged him as I watch his cheeks and his mouth shiver. Apparently, na-impatso. The next day, he felt better and went home. That was the only moment I ever showed my concern for him.

My lolo may be imperfect and irrational most of the time. But I love him. When he was younger, I was scared of him because he was a hot-headed monster who would pick a fight with anyone at anytime his button was pushed. But now that he is old, he has shown a really different side of him. And I’m starting to appreciate him for who he is in our lives. He perks me up just by being the makulit that he is. My day wouldn’t be complete without his pangungulit. His humor is effortless…because he is unaware of it. I wouldn’t mind giving him my bear hug the next time he has a chill.

Somebody Take Me to Disneyland!!

Hooyah! Been writing a lot of non-sense this day huh!

So yeah...I've finally accomplished my goal for this year and that is to repaint the house! Now that I've done that in my first week of Christmas break, I'm really feeling very lazy to do anything else! Like fix my dresser, dump old clothes, fix all the pictures I set aside since summer break, organize my planner, read med books in advance, read TD Jakes' books, yadah yadah yadah! Hay! Naiisip ko pa lang, pagod na ko! Hehe.

Going back to my real topic (hehe this so reminds me of Vick-E), I've been watching a lot of Discovery Travel and Adventure these days--in the morning when I get up, while eating lunch, after siesta and before I go to sleep! Not only once did I get to see them feature Disney places. I've only been to Disneyland in Los Angeles, California. The ones that I really adore are in Tokyo and in Florida. Whoa...Disneyland brings out the child in me! If I was still a kid, I'd probably be hyperventilating and even pass out with so much excitement when I get there! Haha. They make adorable teeny weeny figures out of chocolate and gingerbread in Florida. Japan's Disney has different themes (the sea adventure would have to be my favorite!) and it makes you feel like you're going through different worlds. It's really amazing! And of course, Disney's specialty--parades! They have all characters dressed very similar to the ones you see on cartoon, greeting the crowd from their fabulous floats as the enchanting music plays--leaving both kids and adults star struck. (Tarzan is a hottie!) Even watching the mascots dance to the music is a sure eye candy to any kid. As if these aren't enough, the whole production ends with a breathtaking fireworks display.

Somebody take me to Disneyland!!! *whine*

On Blogs

This is only my second blog site. The first one was Xanga. Blogspot looks more sophisticated. So I abandoned Xanga. I am surprised to know that people actually take time to read my entries. Wow. Now I feel important. *lol*

I just visited Marge's blogsite. I so envy her. Being the cyberbobo that I am, I wish I had more knowledge on how to manipulate the system...HTML and all that. I could hardly post a pic on my blogsite. Kasi naman si Lor-E walang tyagang turuan ako! Hehe, nanumbat! ;p~ I actually want to do a lot more thing...but that entails a lot of learning from the gurus. And neither I or the so-called gurus have the drive and time to do so. Hence, I'd have to do with this...

This is so funny. When I was young, I hated diaries because either my Dad or my brother would read my writings. Now, I'm writing (errr typing) my thoughts for everyone to read. *blush* I'm really not a spotlight person...

Bamboozled!

Mom and I attended Candlelight Communion last night (Man, the service rocks!). On our way home, we passed by some girls having fun at the videoke. And that time, the girl was singing RiverMaya's "214". The nuuuurve!!! Wala shang karapatan! Don't really care that she didn't carry the tunes well enough, but puh-lease...it's BAMBOO's song, for heaven's sake! Haha, possessive!

Yes, I'm a self-confessed Bamboo fanatic. Probably, I was. In my puberty (and maybe in my subconscious until now), I dreamed of marrying a rock star. I am comforted to know that my friend Pat also went through this stage in her life. Haha! Actually, hanggang ngayon ata pangarap nya yun. (Since I met James, naisip ko, okay na rin siguro doktor mapangasawa...basta si James ha! Hehehe!) I know, we all refer to "The Rockstar" with the image of druggies, alcoholics and players. Heck, who cares?! *lol*

Anyway, I still have high regards for the man I was referring to. He still amazes me until now. But not completely anymore. After all, he's married...so leave him alone, wusses! Haha!

X's: Wut up with Luke Mejares reviving 214? He made it sound too R&B. Has songwriter Rico Blanco finally unveiled the true meaning of 214?

Merry Christmas!

Another boring, sad Christmas for me. I miss my Dad. I miss my brother Jerb.

Two years ago...that was the very last time our whole family spent Christmas together. Perhaps the most memorable one for me. Dad cooked steak (You see, he's a chef but he seldom cooks for us.) and we had white wine. Christmas Day for our family is also Jerb's birthday. That time, he came home late because he probably went on a date with his girlfriend Terri. Dad and I went to church for Candlelight Communion (my very first time). And Mom, with KL st home, prepared our food. I could still remember every detail, everything that took place that night.

Now that Jerb and Daddy's abroad, Christmases have been boring. I never liked singing Christmas songs anymore. I don't look forward to opening of Christmas gifts any longer. For me, the highlight of Christmas is gone...two years ago.

I wish no Filipino would ever had to go abroad to work. I am anti-migration. You can tell why.

Am I Bad?

Tingin ko sa mga maiitim ay cadaver. Gusto ko silang i-dissect. =)

blueeyedaave

Takatakataktakatak. When boredom bites, it kills. Nobody seems to be talking sense inside the chatroom. It has been a long afternoon. My eyes start to swell out of their orbits, giving me a bad headache. I stare blankly at the screen as it stares right back at me.

This was the scenario when I first met Dave, as far as I can remember. Aside from that, I could hardly recall any other details—like what year it was or how our first conversation went. He was most likely one of the random people anybody would pick to message. Two things brought us together: First, our belief. Second, our inkling to poetry and writing. As years passed, I’ve found that there are more than just 2 reasons to consider him my “online bestfriend”. This is a story of the many beautiful “chance meetings”, or should I say “friendships by chance”, that God had made possible.

To start with, I was at first amazed at how Dave wrote his poems. I grew up in church and have met so many Christians at my age but have never encountered someone as honest, sincere and true as he was. I look at other Christians and see only what’s pleasant in their lives. When I met Dave, he gave me a realization…that Christians aren’t perfect people. That both the belivers and the non-believers have battles inside of them. And that they are hurt just the same. We talked almost everyday…for hours…about God, life and anything else that comes across. The more we talked, the more I appreciate my relationship with God. And whoever said that friendship is God’s way of loving us through someone has wisdom. Dave is not unattractive at all, but if there’s something I truly adore about him more than his bright blue eyes, it’s his passion—for God, above all else, for writing, for politics (haha)… He sends me his writings and asks me to read them or even check his spelling or grammar (I forgive him, he’s American…hehe! I’m kidding. This is too ironic.). And to each and every time, he never fails to amuse me with his wisdom. I am a happier Christian because of brothers like him.

We agree in almost everything. (Among other things, we both use Gap Colognes—So Pink and So Blue!) We more or less have the same attitude in dealing with people. We’re both shy people. Hahaha!! And if ever we would meet up one day, no one would be talking (that’s according to him). Sometimes, I’d think that he was a male version of me. It’s freaky how we have our usual conversations and think, omg, I was just about to type those words! It is even surprising to me how he picks up Filipino jokes and I’d think that sometimes, he also has an inherent Pinoy humor within him. He’s the only person I play dots & lines (I never thought it was fun until he introduced it to me.) and scribbles with online. One time, we were playing dots & lines and we’ve both lost track who’s turn it was already. We drew a line at the very same spot at the very same time! I think it was hilarious! How could someone from the other side of the globe have the same mind frequency as I do?! We’re East and West. We’re PM and AM. According to him, if ever we end up together (which probably would be a very sad thing to happen! Haha!), we’d mix our genes our well (I agree!) by having kids with chinky blue eyes! (I dunno if he still remembers this but I think it was very funny.) He likes Prophetic books of the Bible (Jeremiah, Revelation), I like the Historical ones (Genesis, Exodus—he thinks they’re boring! Wait till you get into Numbers, punk!). I remember, in one of the new years we had, we planned of reading the whole Bible together (starting in Job!) and would update each other’s devotions regularly through email. It did happen…only for 2 or 3 chapters. He said if ever I’d want to be an American citizen, I could come and marry him, have children, divorce and then have separate lives. Haha, what an idea eh?!
Dave, if ever you still want to continue with our Bible marathon, I still have my devotional notes I could share with you. If ever you wanna play dots & lines again, or draw pictures of stick figures, I’d be glad to play silly with you again. If ever you have new writings you want me to check out (I printed one of your works, remember!), I’ll take time to read it for you (promise). Even if it takes me forever to reply to your emails, I want you to know that I value your writings and I still believe that you are one great writer (You should write poems again, dude). And that God is pleased to have given you this talent. If ever you still want to put up a devotional site, I don’t think I’d have enough time to maintain it (Haha!). If you still think Friendster is irrelevant, just make me a testimonial and then forget about your account for eternity! Heehee. I know you are working and studying hard these days but fo’ sho’ (ooh how ghetto! Haha!), everything will be worth it in Jesus’ perfect time. The missionary doctor is still waiting for her missionary nurse. *wink* We’re gonna be a team, punk! We be spreadin’ the love and the Good News, in Jah’s name! Haha! I regret that we only got a phone call when I went to the States but I am looking forward to seeing you in our trip to Israel someday (or here in the islands…btw, it’s an archipelago!). Or maybe in the woods, in your place. Haha! Don’t forget, you owe me a treat to Taco Bell and you still have to teach me more Spanish, mi amigo! (You should learn Tagalog too) If ever you need somebody to vent your thoughts to or somebody to listen to (so you won’t have to download porn from Kazaa! Bleh!), you know muy_coffeenatico is just around the corner. I will be your punk friend till Jesus comes. (Forget about the anniversary, I don’t even know what year I met you! But it has been more or less 5 years of buzzing and punking with you, dude!) Here’s to you and me…cheers! *Mwahugs* Miss you terribly! =S

For The Past That's Haunting

I turn. You stare.
I see right through you. You pierce my skin.
I get lost for a while...until the music fades.
I shake my head, I rub my eyes.
I turn my head and look away.
It ain't no longer as beautiful a sight as it was,
There are no rhymes,
It makes no sense.
Coz what you are and what I am now
Are nightmares of monsters
Nystagmus and Vertigo.
I may be dumb, you may be too.
We played each other...we were fools.
Feelings, we treated like scratches of paper.
You crumpled me, I threw you away.
You turn your back, I ran after you.
I stabbed your back...You made me bleed.
The more I whip you, the more I'm hurting.
We're pleased to see each other's tears,
Each other's miseries.
You rip off the pages, I drop the jar.
Ruins before our eyes.
Tears flow. Blood flow. Lymph...Sera...
Dehydrated. No more.
Let's leave it at that. Let's leave it in ruins.
Don't come my way no more
So we won't be pretending.
We're not okay. We aren't kids.
You know I hate you. I know you have moved on.
I gave me away and I'm dying to live again.

Break!!

Woohoo! Finally! I can forget about med school even for two weeks.

I slept well last night and woke up with a good, hearty brunch from Mom. Went to the mall to buy my gift for Chocolate Lustre (hehe) and to check out mobile phones. I want a new phone. But I don't want to ask from Mom. I promise I'd get one next year!

Then I went to Children's Church. We were conceptualizing a presentation for Christmas. Boy, we need workshop in script writing! Haha! It's easy to present something "entertaining" but that's not the point. We're here for the ministry. And the seed that we would be leaving to the kids is without measure. Without the birth of Jesus, we wouldn't be able to enjoy all these things for Christmas.

I'm sooper mean to X today!! I swear. I dunno what got into me. I'm just extra b*tchy to him today. The moment I saw him and he saw me, I was automatically on "mean mode". And I gave him the sharpest irap he ever got in his entire life!! Haha! Ewan. I mean, I don't have any more issues with him. It may be the hormones...these days. It just made me happy that I did that to him...even twice. Harhar. Coz it's not nice when he does it to me. Sometimes, it's redeeming to do so. Guys need to learn their lesson too!

Haaayy...I've been hearing the same stories from different people today. Y'know...mean bosses/colleagues who think less of you just bcoz you're younger and your degree doesn't exactly fit your current job...guys who manipulate girls and could easily get away with it. You only remember me when you're lonely. Okay, in fairness to him, he was also around when things were up. But probably 75% of the moments you talked were during the lowest times of his life. He values your role in his life but after you have done your part, you're trash. It's a sad reality. It's a sad world out there. Not everything's fair.

Got home from a Christmas get-together with my college friends. I wonder how many more years we will be doing this. This is the first Christmas apart from Bio people. We ate dinner and then hopped into some other place to drink tea. We wanted to have coffee...but coffee without aything to study? Boring. So just skip it and try to detox while we're on break. A med student not into caffeine dose is an irony.

I was worried when I got home. Coz as usual, Mom was waiting. She never scolded me anymore about coming home late. I try to inform her of all my lakads. I don't want to be a big fat liar anymore. I don't want to win my mom's trust out of lie. I still don't get why my friends could stay out late and I can't. But I don't rebel. I honor my parents...and I could impose my side without disregarding the authority they have over me. I'm a good daughter...I swear I am. ;p~ When I got home, I saw the slices of fruits that were prepared for me. I could imagine my Mom eating dinner alone...and worried about my coming home. I immediately feel guilty. The more when she told me "Dadalawa na nga lang tayong nagdi-dinner, iniiwan mo pa ako". I dunno. I still don't understand this kind of set-up we have at home. But I don't feel good when I disobey. KL woke up a few hours when I got home and he went down to kiss me goodnight. Everyone loves my presence here in this home. Haha!

Oh! We passed by Xaymaca on our way home. Wow. I wanted to check out the place. I heard it's a reggae bar. I know of only a few number of people who are into reggae. I'm one of these few.

I know. This blog is scattered. Pardon me.

Whoa?!

FPJ is dead. I dunno how am I suppose to react to that. But 'soon as I went out of the house this morning, everyone in the streets was talking about the unfateful incident.

Last 3 school days for 2004! And sure ain't gonna be an easy exit. We're still working extra hard. Still no James...*tsk*

My Tita Ning and cuz Ryan is coming over in January! I am sooo excited!

Hooya!

My much awaited weekend! I had a blast this past week. Never mind all the brain-busting big exams in Biochem, Neuroana, Prev. Med. and Histo, I got to see James through the hallways and there's nothing more I could ask for! Heehee. Yesterday, I was bwadtweep (pauso ni Charry!) coz my Mom didn't wake me up till 5:45 and I've been coming to class almost late. I could hardly wake up with my phone alarm anymore and she makes it even worse by not bothering to wake me up!! Haha, ang sama ko! I know, she has good intentions...she wants me to sleep longer. But it's giving me a hard time. I don't want to be rushing all the time just to beat the clock. So I didn't join her for breakfast yesterday morning just to let her know that my time is important and she'd wake me up next time. Hehe! I am so unfair.

Oh-well...coming to class without breakfast made me feel a little grumpy. And I kinda don't like my new Prev.Med. facilitator coz she asked us to discuss 3 cases for the first meeting. So I went out of the room after the second case to eat breakfast at the caf. Soon as I went out of the room, voila! Saw James! *big grin* What a yummy breakfast I had! ;p~

I have to rant about our cadaver. I don't like it anymore. It's kadirs. I'm thinking we should just leave the poor dead body alone. After all, the maggots, fleas and what-nots are already feasting on his rotten flesh. When I tried to move his intestines aside, there were maggots penetrating through the tissues of his intestines. Ugh!

I couldn't get to sleep after dinner so I kept chatting my Mom. She's probably annoyed already. I'm sabog and I couldn't even remember what we talked about.

My head hurts from sleeping long though. I'm going to see my -girlfriends today! I'm out.

Wishes Granted!

Yipee! Thank you Lord for granting "my wish" not only once...twice...but thrice!! Wehehehe!

• There's nothing better than looking at the most adorable person (in my eyes) getting busy and toxic in school with me.
• Not missing a meal with my friends and going to tiangge together even if the school demands a lot from me
• Having a good laugh with them till I pass gas
• Dozzing off towards the end of a "serious" lecture in Renal Physiology and having the same feeling of satisfaction similar to when I slept for 12 friggin' hours!
• Sleeping after dinner (which is becoming a bad habit already) for almost 3 hours and having only an hour to study...
• ...but feel it's okay since I don't have classes the next day! Weehoo!
• Getting a phone call from an old high school friend who took the same post-grad course (and that makes the 2 of you from among your batch)
• Drinking a good cup of coffee (of course...what's a day without "my coffee"?) that the school vendo could not make--finishing it even before I finish a chapter in my book and feeling sleepy afterwards (wa epek ang caffeine!)
• Not being able to get online and having this as a good reason to study instead
• Getting a good night sleep and waking up to a new day...
• ...with a new Friendster Testimonial and a New Friend Request!
• Having the whole day to study!! Haha.

My Daily Dose

All I ever wanted is to bump into my "Zygo" along the hallways each day...*sigh*