Summer...At Last!!

My favorite time of the year! Love how the scorching heat of the sun warms my skin. Heehee.

I'm so happy. This is my first summer as a medical student. And I'm really feelin' it man!!! It's so summer!! So this is life without med...staying on the net till my eyeballs pop out of their orbits...waking the next day for lunch...eating a "serious lunch"...watching eat bulaga (mwahahaha!)...totally bumming out!

I was so happy yesterday. I went with my grannies to the hospital to have my Lola's stitches checked (she just had some pectoral operation...haha ano yun?!). Then I went to church and helped my Dad with the packing of the food for that day's feeding. Ang saya, nakakapag-ministry na uli ako...sagabal talaga pag-aaral. Afterwhich, we went out to eat and watch a movie. We watched "Hostage" starring Bruce Willis. Oh yes, he's a hot poppah! Pogiiii!!! *scream* Hahaha! At first, I was dragging myself to watch it because it was just suggested by my Dad. I wanted to watch my papa Vin Diesel's "The Pacifier" but he didn't wanna watch comedy. Nonetheless, I enjoyed "Hostage". It's a nice movie, actually. The suspense will bring you to the edges of your seats. The bulk of the movie happened overnight. I dunno if that's a good thing or not. But it surely is full of Bruce Willis and he's definitely an eyecandy (well, at least for me huh!). I am not very good at making film reviews but all-in-all, the movie is nice (I guess this term is a no-no for film reviews) EXCEPT THAT IT HAD TOO MUCH CUSS WORDS.

Okay, so since when did I have a liking for Bruce Willis? Since I saw him at TRL with the Rock last week. They were dared to stare at each other and whoever cuts it, loses. The two hunkies looked so cute. They were inching at each other's face and finally ended up pecking each other's cheeks. Haha! Cute talaga, aliw ako dun.

It's my Dad's birthday today so we went out to have some "family time". I treated my Mom and Dad to the Spa which they enjoyed very much. I did too. It's very relaxing. I dozzed off for a little. It feels so good. I badly wanted a break. During the last week of the exams, I was losing my motivation and my scores are all going down. I couldn't care less, all I wanted was to get over it and look forward to another school year in med. But of course, kinareer ang compre! My girls and I are dreaming of being exempted from the written revalida on our fourth year. I believe there's nothing impossible with God (pray pray pray) and with hard work. So there, we pigged out a while ago and I couldn't eat any more for dinner.

If you're looking for old movies, the local record stores are already selling original vcd's and even dvd's for very cheap prices. I just bought a Php 75.00 vcd of "Patch Adams" yesterday and I was able to watch it today. Ugh, it's so overwhelming! I wish every doctor or for that matter, medical students, would have the same drive as Mr. Adams (Bryan Adams? Hehe). The phrase "To serve humanity" has become so passe, it comes into one of your ears and goes out to the other. I wish it tarried a little longer into the brain cortices and form some sort of a glomerular tuft. Now this glomerular tuft could regenerate uncontrollably like tumor and eventually dominate your systems. I really wish it happens. Like "take the shape of my heart till I become a stranger to my life" of one of Jars of Clay's songs (The Eleventh Hour).

Also today, I sorta fixed some of my piles. I sorted which goes to the trash and which stays with the dust. Haha! I finally threw my Math (I think it was Geometry or maybe Biostat) and Chemistry notes from college. Ugh! I so hate numbers! So anything that has got to do with numbers, I despise. No worries because the feeling is mutual. It treats me as bad as I hate it. It is so non-empirical. I am very scientific. Hahaha! Right. And I don't get why among my 4 PrevMed subjects, I got the highest in Biostat. Anyways, I'd rather keep my Botany and Spanish notes. I luuurve these subjects! Botany because of Sir Dogma (the most angas prof you'll ever encounter...he's dead smart) and Spanish because of so many reasons. Even though I won't be needing any more back-up notes from these subjects for Medicine, I kept them for memories' sake. When I have more time, I will check out all my drawings in Botany (which I really worked hard on) and I will brush up on my Spanish. Yo soy, yo estoy, yo tengo. Hasus, que barbaridad!

So there goes my prequel for a more fun, fun summer!! Yeehaa!!

grace, pat, moi

grace, pat, moi
Originally uploaded by dzaymee.

Mga first timers! Wahahaha!

This was probably one of the most unforgetabble nights I've had. We went to a party, drank till we drop, met some cute guys, danced the night away...NOT!! Hellooo?! Good girls 'tong mga 'to 'no!! Hehehe. (Although let's not skip the "cute guys" part...meron talaga! For me, for Grace and for Pat. Ayan ha, walang awayan!) Sayang...sana andun din si Charry Gayle. Hehe! Ang saya talaga. And what better way to end the night (errr...or start the day?) but with a good cup of coffee from, obkors...where else? Coffee bean! (advertising 'to para kay Chicco! hehe)

pat & moi

pat & moi
Originally uploaded by dzaymee.

bamboo

bamboo
Originally uploaded by dzaymee.

Yesterday, March 21, Bamboo just turned 30. I knew that! *wink wink*

Itchy Poet

BEAUTIFUL NOW

Say goodbye, say goodnight
Say farewell, till next time
Some people go, some people stay
Some people don't last for a lifetime
If love fails, and everything else does
It's hard to let go when time has left its marks
But just as time heals all wounds
So shall the heart forget its pain
Forgive, forget...as if that's all it takes
Years, centuries, decades...ages, I bet
Leave, move on, put a smile on your face
Let your soul raise the child in you
Let it grow and learn and live
For someday soon, it might love again
Be wiser and stronger...be more beautiful each day

Gusto Kong Maging Doktor Dahil...

(Whoever wrote this article is a genius. I feel ya! This is so true...Here's a piece of me. And the rest of the medical students in this wonderful country.)

Lightning Crashes : Gusto Kong Maging Doktor Dahil

Contributed by roni_bats (Edited by blue_kuko)

Monday, February 14, 2005 @ 01:00:21 AM

"So, why do you want to be a doctor?" Pipilitin kong tumingin nang diretso sa mga mata ng nagtatanong sa akin. Ilalabas ang matagal ring pinagpraktisang ngiti. Kaunti lang. Sapat upang magbigay ng impresyong sigurado ako sa mga susunod kong salita.

"Because I want to make a difference in other people's lives." Syempre sigurado ako sa sagot ko. Galing sa isang pelikula iyan e! Hindi na mahalaga kung alin o kung sino ang nagsabi ng naturang linya. Ang punto, scripted ang bawat salita.

"Can you please elaborate?" Tuloy ang tatlumpung minuto ng pambobola. Ngayon, apat na taon mula nang malaman kong nakapasa ako sa UP Med, aaminin ko na: nagsinungaling ako nung interview. Sinabi ko ang mga salitang nasabi ko dahil kailangan silang sabihin. At dahil nakasandig ang paniniwala ng walang muwang na ako sa mga konsepto ng paglilingkod nang buong puso, pag-ibig na tunay at walang patid na kaligayahang nababasa ko sa nobela at napapanood sa pelikula. Ang totoo, napag-isip-isip ko, gusto kong maging doktor dahil gusto kong maging doktor. Wala nang iba pang rason. Pagkatapos ng apat na taong pagpupuyat, pagsasaulo, pag-eexam, pag- interview sa pasyente, pagta-type ng paper at pagsagot sa preceptor, ang tanging nagtutulak sa akin na magpuyat, magsaulo, mag-exam, mag-interview ng pasyente, mag-type ng paper, sumagot sa preceptor at kung ano man ang madadagdag pa sa natitirang tatlong taon ay ang kagustuhan kong maging Dr. Ronnie Enriquez Baticulon. Kung kailangan kong kumain ng apoy habang tumatawid sa tightrope na sintaas ng monumento ni Rizal sa Luneta pero walang net na sa sasalo sa akin sa ibaba, gagawin ko. Dahil gusto kong maging doktor.

Mababaw? Dalawang klase lang ang mga estudyante ng medisina. Kung hindi ka manhid, masokista ka. Pag-torture sa sarili ang pag-idlip ng isang oras gabi-gabi sa loob ng isang linggo. Kabaliwan ang pagbabasa ng lecture transcriptions sa halip na magpaputok sa Bagong Taon. Kalokohan ang pagpilit sa sariling bumangon nang maaga, kahit na makatulog muli sa lecture, basta't makapirma sa attendance sheet at makaiwas sa finals. Kasalanan bang hilingin na sana, ipinanganak ka na lang na floppy diskette o CD-RW para mas madaling mag-store at mag-delete ng impormasyon? Ang awa sa sarili ay kinakalimutan pagsuot ng puting uniporme. Kulang na lang ay ipulupot sa sariling leeg ang stethoscope na nakasabit sa balikat hanggang sa mangasul at tuluyang malagutan ng hininga.

Sa panahon ng ka-toxic-an, hinahalughog ang bawat sulok ng utak para masagot ang katanungang, "Bakit ko ba ito ginagawa sa sarili ko?" Hindi dahil mataas ang pangarap ng mga magulang ko para sa akin. Hindi dahil kailangan na ng mga kamag-anak ko ng gagamot sa kanila nang libre. Hindi dahil isang isang araw, narinig kong bumubulong ang Diyos sa aking tenga, "Dapat kang maging manggagamot ng Aking mga nilikha." Hindi dahil kulang na ang mga doktor sa Pilipinas sapagkat nurse na silang lahat. Hindi dahil kailangan ng mga naghihikahos na Pilipino ng magliligtas sa kanila mula sa mga kamay ng karamdaman at kamatayan. Hindi ko naiisip ang sasabihin ng Nanay at Tatay ko kapag umuwi akong sangkatutak ang bagsak na marka (Anak pa rin naman nila ako kahit ano'ng mangyari). Hindi ko naiisip na sana, nag-Nursing na lang ako para susuweldo na ako ng milyon sa isang taon. At mas lalong hindi ko naiisip si Aling Ebang na may sandosenang anak na may TB at may asawang walang maibigay sa kanya kundi sandosenang STD.

Ang laman lang ng isip ko ay, una, "Gusto ko nang matulog," at, pangalawa, "Engot ka pala, ginusto mong maging doktor e!" Kanya-kanya ang dahilan kung bakit nagdodoktor ang mga tao. Walang maling dahilan. Ang problema ay nag-uugat sa kawalan ng kasiguraduhan. Kaya may umiiyak. Kaya may nagku-quit. Kaya may nasisiraan ng bait. Nakakalimutang higit sa lahat ay ang kagustuhang maging doktor. Saka pa lang pumapasok ang iba pang rason, na bawat isa ay nakasandal sa una. Dahil sa buhay, ang pinakamatinong sagot ay ang pinakasimple. Madalas nga, sa sobrang simple e tatanungin mo ang iyong sarili, "Kailangan pa ba ng dahilan?"

Finally...

I am officially done with my first year in med!!!

Jars of Experience

http://www.flickr.com/photos/45359643@N00/5938785/
Originally uploaded by dzaymee.

March 2, 2005 (Wednesday)

4:30 am
I woke up from a deep slumber. I am holding my Neuronatomy handout and my short-term memory worked instantly...ah, I was reviewing for this day's practical exam. I suddenly feel the chill of morning breeze against my skin. I can't believe I' sleeping through this. It is important that I get a good score for this practical exam since I got a really low grade on my Neuroana long quiz (That was one of the instances when you study hard for a subject and unfortunately, the items that come out on the exam aren't most of what you know). If I don't redeem myself today, I would have to work extra harder for my shifting exam. *sigh* I have to meet Charry and Myl at 8:30 this morning to talk about the Biochem presentation.

Phew! Jars of Clay is in town. And I'm watching them play tonight! Neuroana pracs...JARS OF CLAY...Meeting with Charry and Myl...JARS OF CLAY...Bioethics class...JARS OF CLAY...JARS OF CLAY...JARS OF CLAY...zzz...zzz...zzz...

8:45 am
I texted Charry and Myl to inform them that I can't come to the meeting, which I myself called for. Myl requested that we postpone as well. Somehow, I'm feeling guilty that Charry might have been waiting for the two of us to come. But on second thought, mabuti na rin yon para hindi sya late today. Hehe!

9:15 am
I am late for my Bioethics class. Father Manlangit (I've never addressed him that way, though) has already started his lecture on the Principle of Justice. For some reasons, whenever I attend his lectures, I feel every inch like a doctor already. Maybe because he doesn't deal with some academic stuff and listening to him doesn't feel like I'm some highschool kid staring at her teacher discuss this and that.

10:00 am
I turn to Charry and ask her what time will this class be over. My brain is probably hypoxic most of the time--especially when I fail to eat my breakfast, like today. I feel a lot of my acids are getting a little grumpier each minute that passes. And I could hardly concentrate at the lecture.

At some instances, Arnie distracts my attention by pertaining to some unethical stuffs to me--like abortion. Father Manlangit is now talking about abortion. He says he needs to finish everything in our syllabus since the next two weeks will be hell. (I'm talking about shifting exams week and finals week.)

"Siguro yan yung inisip mo nung nagpa-abort ka 'no?!" I could see he had some hesitations when he asked me that. I didn't mind. I am not at all defensive. Because I know in my mind that I will never commit such a crime. I am so into having a baby that even if the father of that baby abandons us, I don't mind keeping the baby. Every creature that God breathes on has a well-planned future. It is not an accident. God has purposed things to bring, in the end, greater glory unto His name. I just smiled back at Arnie. I could get back at him and kick his a*s anytime I wish. Hehe, joke lang!

11:00 am
Ah! Lunch time, finally.

11:55 am
I asked Charry to teach me Neuroana. We got ourselves coffee from the vendo and started reviewing our notes. Ah...coffee. My only consolation in med school.

2:00 pm
I am feeling a little grumpy. Why in the world did they change the division of the class?! In my hope to come home early to prepare for tonight's Jars of clay concert, I will be second to the last among the first row of students to take the pracs. And my goodness, we have to hold the brain specimens with our bare hands! How come nobody told us to bring surgical gloves?!

3:20 pm
I finally walk out of the Neuroana laboratory. All the people outside the room are naturally talking about the items that came out. I could care less, I looked around to look for my groupmates for tomorrow's Biochem presentation. I am feeling a little pressured. We have a gargantuan preparation to do. And I wasn't aware that it's actually a CONTEST--the best among the rest, among the rest, which is the best! As Jed would put it.

5:00 pm
I excused myself from the video editing team and rushed my way home. My dad is sure furious about me not coming home at expected time.

5:45 pm
I ran up my room to change clothes as soon as I got home. Good thing, I have prepared my clothes more than a month ago. I have folded them neatly and set them aside in my closet. That is how excited I am for this concert. When I went down to put on my shoes, my Lola started blabbing on me. She hated that I sleep late and that I was complaining of a blurry vision during the weekend. She probably thinks I'm still in high school. And let me just confirm that I am in medical school.

6:45 pm
Dad and I looked for a place to eat at Gateway. We bumped at Alex Compton (Magandang Umaga!) and it was too late when we recognized it was him. I finished my plate in a swift. Everything around me seems to be going fast forward. My excitement is building up in every heart beat. I could die after the concert tonight!

7:25 pm
Araneta Coliseum. People, mostly youth, wait outside the walkways as the band does some balancing. I asked the usher if I could come in and watch. He actually allowed me to do so. Hehe, utu-uto! All the others followed when I got in. Barbie's Cradle was at the stage. Hooyah! Kakoi's in the house!

8:00 pm
Phew, nice seats we got! Only I've got a sucky phonecam with no zoom in feature. I busied myself reading the Fish magazine which were on the seats. For sure, there are people watching the show who are only after Jars' music. The printed materials, in a way, speak of Jars' substance: 4:7 "...from God, and not from us".

8:15 pm
I can tell my Dad is getting a little bored. He doesn't like waiting. I went out and got him some BTIC dark choco almonds. On my way back to the coliseum, some familiar face stared at me with eyes wide opened.

"Jamie?!"
"Ate Anne!" Ate Anne is an old friend from highschool. We were both surprised to see each other after so many years. She introduced me to her husband and then we parted.

8:35 pm
The show is just about to start. Bo Sanchez (is he the organizer?), after introducing Jars of Clay to the crowd (as if this Grammy-winning band were unknown...well, at least for those who are present in the venue) called Pam G to sing the national anthem. Ate Pam, back in highschool. She's the astigin skinhead girl who sings as front act for Gary V. Mrs.SyCip would be proud to hear about her.

8:45 pm
Barbie's Cradle starts singing the Nescafe ad. Go Kakoi!! My Dad thinks Barbie is pretty and that she is talented. What about Kakoi, Dad?

9:30 pm
Finally, Jars of Clay!!! Woohoo!!! Dan Haseltine came out in plain green shirt, the very same color as the jacket that I'm wearing. Hehe! I couldn't contain my bliss. I am hypertensive, hyperventilated, tachycardiac and tachypnic! *lol* I closed my eyes and sang along with every song. I didn't miss clapping my hands or howling at the end of each song. And of course, I kept capturing each precious moment as much as I can with my cell phone. (My phone, unfortunately, doesn't capture too much! Heehee!) Most of the songs that the band played were from the first album, so far, the most familiar songs for me. I was hoping that they would play my favorite, "Worlds Apart". They did. And they even gave some trivia about the song--that it conveys the mercy of God and that it was the longest song they have ever written (6 months). No wonder it is my all-time favorite...because so much effort has been put into it. Dan sang the songs almost just as he sang them in the Furthermore Live CD, so I expected he would sing the "hallelujah" part in "Worlds Apart". He didn't. But nonetheless, it was still a very beautiful rendition. And Mr.Haseltine never failed to amuse me with his God-given talents in singing and songwriting (most especially), as well as his throbbing passion for God. I watch him express each word in every song and the whole event actually feels like a big worship concert already. I love how everybody sounded. (My Dad and I appreciate even Steve's constant back-up wailing!) Dan's voice is even better in live performance.

In the middle of the concert, Dan asked some guy from the audience to sing "Unforgetful You". He pretended to have forgotten the lyrics and asked him, with his girlfriend, to sing the song up the stage. It was a sucky performance but everybody actually had so much fun singing along with them! At the end of the song, the guy proposed marriage to his girl. What a way to do it! I'D ALSO WISH TO ACCEPT A WEDDING PROPOSAL AT A JARS OF CLAY CONCERT! Wow ha, big time! It is not the idea of proposing before a huge crowd that enthuses me, but the very thought of doing it at my favorite band's concert overwhelms me! Wow talaga.

I lost count already but I am sure that they played more than 15 songs. Some of which are not my big favorites. But heck, I just close my eyes and savor each moment...after all, Dan Haseltine is singing live. And it's worth more than a million just to listen to my most favorite lead singer in the whole world! Sobrang sulit. And I wouldn't mind depriving myself of a luxurious lunch or even starving myself to death just to save up for another ticket if ever they play again next month! Kahit pa may exam kinabukasan, queber! Even if it would mean studying my handouts while waiting in line or even flunking the test! Hehe. I could be a Jars of Clay groupie already!

"Tea and Sympathy" was the band's goodbye song. It was a sad but very memorable ending. Everybody had their phones up while singing. *sigh* Jars, when are you ever come again to our shores??

10:45 pm
I gave my Dad a coffee treat after the concert. We concluded that we had so much great time tonight. I swear, this day will always bring the fondest memories in my whole lifetime! What can I say? I SO LOVE JARS OF CLAY!