I Wish Your Happiness is Worth My Misery

WISHES (Superchick)

The saddest thing is you could be anything that you could want
We could've been everything, but now we're not
Now it's not anything at all
The hardest part was getting this close to you
and giving up this dream I built with you
A fairy tale that isn't coming true
You've got some growing up to do

I wish we could have worked it out
I wish I didn't have these doubts
I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now
I wish I didn't know inside that it won't work out for you and I
I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye

After all the things you put me through, tell me why I'm still in love with you
And why am I, why am I still waiting for your call?
You broke my heart, I'm taking it back from you
And taking back the life I gave to you
Life goes on before and after you
I've got some growing up to do

Goodbye, Goodbye, It's time I say my last goodbye

I find it real hard to wish someone well especially if that person has hurt you, abandoned you without a word or simply stepped on your big, fat ego. I guess the whole issue ultimately winds up to one's willingness to forgive. You might forget but you've never really forgiven. And believe me, it will haunt you like a dead corpse in your closet. In my anger (and yes, bitterness), I so want to get back at people who take for granted my feelings after they have taken advantage of my weaknesses (one of them is being too nice...and too accommodating, which basically is an end to my inability to say "no" most of the time). Yes, I KNOW IT IS BAD and I won't get anything from revenge, but I thank my friends for still reminding me and knocking my head back to its senses. I've realized that EVEN IF people do me wrong, I should not demand a compensation just for the sake of my security (thanks Manel for that piece of wisdom!). For indeed, I can't change how people are (only God can do that) but I can change how I deal with these difficult people and this I would have to learn to do because it is an inevitable encounter in this sorry life. I am human enough not to steal other people's happiness just to redeem my bitterness. (For heaven's sake, I have the right to feel bitter because I am at the losing end. I can't help it, darn it!) Yes, that sounds stupid but that's just who I am. I believe that one will reap what he sows. And if I am so convinced that the person has wronged me, it shouldn't bother me what end he gets out of his means. Sometimes I think I might be creating my own monster/stumbling block/pitstop, and that it might be best to move on with life (that's the way to go, regardless). Right now, I need a lot of grace and understanding. I still want to look at people the way God sees me. Believe me, I'm trying.

Anyway, thank you Superchick for providing words to my thoughts! =)