Banas!

I hate shy people.
I hate mediocrity.
I don't like to live my life with so many unaccomplished things.
that I should've done even if it pains my sorry ass.
just coz there are some things in life that are categorized under the term NEEDED.
(such as...memorizing ALL the prototype drugs in Pharmacology)
I am not happy about one-time achievements
or some fifteen-minute fame.
I honestly don't need it. (nax!)
coz they don't really matter as you go on in life
what people care about is how you sustain and carry on
that's what I'm trying to do
but at the moment,
I just hate what I am becoming ever since I entered med school
I hate people easily
just coz I am expected to be tough
and ravel through all broken glasses of disappointments with bare feet
and yes, I am being hard on myself
and I love it. (ngiiii!)
because I hate people who are being such a baby
and no way will I be one of 'em...pssh, (pissed sigh, i.e.) BABIES (for emphasis)
I abhor tigers who are actually kittens.
I hate the secular idea that when you're kind and gentle,
people think that you are a weakling. and deformed.
and they can disregard your feelings...just like that.
I have a problem on picking up my old broken pieces
and I would have to bleed on it for ages
and if ever I stop bleeding on it
I probably did not really stop bleeding
I was only desensitized.
I hate losing...
without a fight.
even if all I really had was a "fighting spirit"
and nothing else
I will still work it! (doin' the "gurlfriend" snap)
this is not a poem
and this goes out to no one
but if no one actually defines someone and even anyone
I don't care
I just needed something (this, not even close) to vent my pathetic emotions on
But because I am a Christian
and I don't want to disregard to what God has already done in my life
I will say sorry with sincerity and with all of my heart
I may resort to crying for now
but in time, I have better days ahead of me
because redemption never failed me...yet
I am a jar of clay
full of hot, tasty coffee. *smile*