I Know...

I am partly unaware of this but yea, toxic is an overused word for med students. Actually, it has replaced most of the vocabs I know. I use it to rant after a very difficult exam ("Ang toxic!!!"), to mock somebody ("Ang toxic mo!!!"), to state my current state of being ("Musta?" "Toxic, pare!"), sometimes to express bliss ("Ahhh...toxic!!") and most oftenly, to excuse myself ("Next time na lang, toxic eh.").

I know for a fact that toxic has separated me from life...my family, friends, would-be friends, who-knows-who. Whether I admit this or not, I say toxic when I want to get rid of anything and everything, anyone and everyone apart from medicine. It's like toxic translates to go away. And sometimes, it would probably do me good to do so. When I'm hurting myself, I don't want people to get in the way and eventually hurt them as well. And I'm sorry, if there's really one person who totally understands this aside from God, it's my Mom. She loves me and doesn't demand anything in return. I am one big fat leech.

So when can my sanity sustain this toxicity? Grace of God, I say. Grace of God, that is.