TATA, my Lolo

I’m not sure of how old my grandfather is but I know that he is over 70 years already. He is of the dark chocolate species (layo ng kulay namin) and a bald headed guy who frequents the barbershop at least twice (or maybe thrice) a week to have his beard trimmed and have his back massaged. He loves McDonald’s (he should’ve been in Morgan Spurlock’s “Super Size Me” documentary) and would eat Burger McDo for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He used to buy a lot of bread and sometimes I’d think that he fancies going to bakeshops because he used to work in one when he was a young man wooing my chinita, tisay grandmother in the province of Ilocos Norte. (They actually have a very interesting love story, if you would ask me.) Everytime my lola goes to the grocery, she always buys lolo a bag of chocolates or a gallon of ice cream. When I was young, I used to sleep over their house and I’ve learned that you can eat ripe mangoes with rice from him. I hated every time he would call me to scratch his back and prick his bungang araw. It always left my nails soiled.

He’s a pretty diligent man who worked his way so hard to get out of poverty. Since we were young, we were convinced that we had a rich lolo. I would readily believe so because he’s the one who gives me my allowance from elementary until now (post-grad). Most of the time, when my Mom (or even my titas) runs out of cash, she still comes to her father for financial help. But being the Ilocano that he is, there are no traces of luxury in my lolo. His only extravagance would be going to the States to buy his shoes, chocolates (you will ALWAYS find Baby Ruth, Twix and Butter Finger in his fridge), coffee and creamer, and of course, going to McDonald’s and to the barber shop everyday.

Anyone would probably hate my lolo for being the ultimate killjoy. He is the strictest, sternest and toughest disciplinarian I know. I am scared to come home late because he will surely reprimand my mom for allowing me to do so. And of course, he won’t stop interrogating you about where you were, who were you with, what were you doing and all the other details he could possibly pinpoint to conclude that you were in bad company. I remember we had a plan just to lie about my brother going to the prom…all because my lolo never understood what a prom is and what in the world it is for. All he knows is that anytime beyond 6pm, bad people might mess with you or you are probably messing around yourself.

You may love him or hate him for being sooo kulit. I swear, matutuyuan ka! My lola gets irritated everytime she stops lolo from teasing strangers who just pass by our street. He calls everyone bakla or tomboy. Everytime he gets stuck in an argument, he simply finds his way out by saying “…kanya nga (kaya nga)”. The very last ridiculous thing he has done was to lock our gate while he was inside and then used a chair to get out of our house! Every night, he calls on the phone with his usual lines, “Asan Mommy mo? Asan si KL? Asan ka? Asan yung katulong? Mag-trangka kayo mabuti dyan…Wag kayong magbubukas kung may mag-kakatok”. Saying “andito lang” and “oo” everytime he pauses is already in my system.

Just recently, he was confined for almost a week due to hematuria. He has been operated twice because of abdominal hernia already. On his supposedly last day in the hospital, I was left alone to watch over him. He was very excited to get out of the hospital. He stood by the window and looked outside…probably planning his next visit to McDonald’s or to his barbero. I watched as he lavishly feasted on all the food we brought for him (he even asked for my leftover!) since he was on dextrose for five straight days. A few hours after eating, he was chilling. I immediately asked for the nurses’ assistance. They brought 2 blankets and a bulb light to warm him. I took off my jacket and wrapped it around him. I hugged him as I watch his cheeks and his mouth shiver. Apparently, na-impatso. The next day, he felt better and went home. That was the only moment I ever showed my concern for him.

My lolo may be imperfect and irrational most of the time. But I love him. When he was younger, I was scared of him because he was a hot-headed monster who would pick a fight with anyone at anytime his button was pushed. But now that he is old, he has shown a really different side of him. And I’m starting to appreciate him for who he is in our lives. He perks me up just by being the makulit that he is. My day wouldn’t be complete without his pangungulit. His humor is effortless…because he is unaware of it. I wouldn’t mind giving him my bear hug the next time he has a chill.